“Sorry, Gotta Go… Forever.”
It’s not me. It’s… well, it’s definitely you.
Inspired by the legendary Second Date Update featuring Samantha and Mike (a.k.a. the final boss of excuses and exits), this sweatshirt delivers your boundaries in bold font and plush comfort. Whether you’re avoiding a second date, skipping out of plans, or just reclaiming your peace — this is your wearable mic drop.
Witty, warm, and slightly passive-aggressive (just like your text history), this unisex sweatshirt is the ultimate armor for socially drained romantics and freedom seekers alike.

👕 Sweatshirt Details:
Unisex Crew Neck Sweatshirt | Gildan 18000
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50% cotton, 50% polyester – a balanced relationship, unlike that date
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Pre-shrunk – because shrinking is for emotional availability
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Classic fit for maximum comfort during dramatic exits
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1×1 athletic rib knit collar with spandex – escape plans need flexibility
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Air-jet spun yarn – super soft and totally ghost-worthy
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Double-needle stitched collar, shoulders, armholes, cuffs, and hem – durable for repeated exits
🌱 Matching Set Available In:
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T-shirt: For vanishing in warmer weather
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Hoodie: For dramatic winter breakups
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Poster: Statement wall art for emotionally closed doors
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Mug: Sip & disappear like a pro
❤️ Perfect For:
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Serial ghosters (with excellent fashion taste)
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Samantha & Mike fans who live for the chaos
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People who’ve left someone on read… since April
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Introverts with emotionally unavailable hobbies
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Anyone who walks out and never looks back (but looks good doing it)
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