I’m Sorry You’re Hurt… Not Really Hoodie

This hoodie is the fashion equivalent of a text that says, “Hope you’re okay,” with no intention of following up.

Inspired by the Second Date Update breakup artistry of Samantha and Mike, this design delivers the perfect combo of passive-aggression and passive-warmth. Whether you’re dodging responsibility or just expressing your cold-hearted truth with cozy vibes, this hoodie gets you.

Dress like the closure you never gave. Or the apology you never meant. Either way — you’ll look so good doing it.

🧵 Product Details:

• Unisex fit from S to 5XL

• 50% pre-shrunk cotton, 50% polyester
  (Heather Sport Dark Navy: 40% cotton / 60% poly)

• Fabric weight: 8.0 oz/yd² (271.25 g/m²)

• Air-jet spun yarn for next-level softness

• Double-lined hood + matching drawcord

• 1 × 1 rib-knit cuffs and waistband with spandex stretch

• Double-stitched everything — even your emotional damage

• Front pouch pocket to hide your fake sympathy

• Quarter-turned body = no weird crease down the front

• Available in 7 colors, including Black, White, Navy, and Sport Grey

🎁 Also Available As:

• Breakup-ready T-shirt

• Savage sweatshirt

• Cringe-core mug

• “Oops, not sorry” poster

💘 Perfect For:

• Professional gaslighters

• Sarcastic softies

• Exes with better comebacks than feelings

• People who say “lol” instead of “I’m sorry”

• Fans of Samantha, Mike, and petty excellence on Second Date Update