I’m Sorry You’re Hurt… Not Really Sweatshirt

“I’m Sorry You’re Hurt… Not Really.”
🧊 When your apology has footnotes — and none of them are sincere.

Inspired by Samantha & Mike’s delightfully disastrous Second Date Update, this sweatshirt wraps unapologetic energy in unapologetic comfort. It’s not that you don’t care… it’s just that you don’t have the bandwidth today. Or tomorrow. Or ever.

Snuggle into this soft, sarcastic classic-fit crewneck that tells the truth so you don’t have to. Whether you’re side-eying from the couch, dodging accountability, or just vibing in your villain arc — this is your official uniform.

👕 Sweatshirt Details:

Unisex Crew Neck Sweatshirt | Gildan 18000

• 50% cotton, 50% polyester

• Pre-shrunk — unlike your patience

• Classic fit — great for casual cruelty and emotional detachment

• 1×1 athletic rib knit collar with spandex

• Air-jet spun yarn for max softness, zero remorse

• Double-needle stitching because your excuses deserve structure

🌱 Matching Set Available In:

• T-shirt: For delivering damage in warm weather

• Hoodie: Keeps your cold heart cozy

• Poster: Wall-mounted warning sign

• Mug: Sip your “I’m fine” with sass

❤️ Perfect For:

• People who’ve ever said “sorry” without meaning it

• Samantha & Mike truthers who love their Second Date drama

• Fans of funny passive-aggressive fashion

• Anyone thriving in their self-aware, unapologetic era

• Gift idea for your most emotionally unavailable friend (or yourself)