No Fish That Swim Hoodie

No Fish That Swim. But crab? Totally fine.
(Inspired by the baffling brilliance of Jimmy and Amanda’s Second Date Update.)

Some dating red flags are subtle. Others involve complex seafood policies. This funny hoodie dives headfirst into the legendary “no fish” rule, bringing sarcasm, seafood confusion, and unmatched hoodie softness together in one gloriously weird garment.

If you’ve ever had to decode someone’s relationship dietary guidelines, or you just appreciate a deeply niche joke with mainstream hoodie comfort — this one’s for you. Wear it on your next date, or better yet, to brunch while explaining that “shrimp is the gray area.”

🧵 Product Details:

• Unisex fit in sizes S to 5XL

• 50% pre-shrunk cotton, 50% polyester

• (Heather Sport Dark Navy: 40% cotton, 60% polyester)

• Fabric weight: 8.0 oz/yd² (271.25 g/m²)

• Air-jet spun yarn = extra soft + less pilling

• Double-lined hood with matching drawcord

• Front pouch pocket for snacks or seafood menus

• Rib-knit cuffs and waistband with spandex for a comfy stretch

• Quarter-turned body to avoid that annoying middle crease

• Stitched to last through every awkward first date

• Available in 7 colors: Black, White, Navy, Dark Heather, Red, Military Green, Sport Grey

🎁 Also Available As:

• T-shirt

• Sweatshirt

• Coffee mug

• Poster (because it deserves to be framed)

💘 Perfect For:

• People with strict seafood dating policies

• Fans of hilarious radio show moments

• Lovers of subtle (or not-so-subtle) sarcasm

• Second Date Update superfans

• Anyone who’s crab-positive, fish-neutral

https://youtu.be/9CToGmx3hCk